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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28515243">Lucky Shirt</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoeMerl/pseuds/JoeMerl'>JoeMerl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Daria (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Age Difference, Angst, Bipolar Disorder, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Cross-Posted on the Paperpusher Message Board, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, It's Not Mentioned But It's My Headcanon, Post-Canon, Random Pairing Challenge, Rare Pairings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:42:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,521</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28515243</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoeMerl/pseuds/JoeMerl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"I haven't even had a date in over a year. I love my job and my privacy, but sometimes I really</i> do <i>regret not making my personal life a priority. And now I'm an old maid."</i></p><p>  <i>She laced her tone with sarcastic despair, hoping to cover the</i> real <i>despair that was building inside of her.</i></p><p>  <i>Ed looked incredulous. "You're not </i>old!<i> I mean—you're probably what? Thirty…" He wanted to say </i>five,<i> but decided not to risk it. "Four?"</i></p><p>  <i>Amy laughed, so loudly that Ed jumped. It was very different from her usual chortle.</i></p><p>  <i>"Sure, Ed. Let's go with that."</i></p><p> </p><p>The story of a forty-something going through a mild midlife crisis and a besotted college-age intern desperate for a girlfriend. Amy/"The Head," written for the Random Pairing Challenge 2020.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Amy Barksdale/The Head (Daria)</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Lucky Shirt</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p></p><div class="xcontrast"><p> </p>
<p></p><div><p> </p>
<p></p><div><p>Earlier that day, Ed and his friends were hanging out in his dorm room when Buggy laughed at him and said "Man, you need to get laid."</p><p>Buggy had been in a relationship for one month and lost his virginity the previous week, so he now felt qualified to comment on such things.</p><p>Their other friends had laughed. Ed had scowled, turned red, and told him to shut up. But Buggy had persisted.</p><p>"You never even <em>talk</em> to girls! Look, I manned up and asked Shondra out. Ace managed to get with that girl at the sorority party. Heck, even <em>Penn</em> managed to kiss Anna Coulthard back in eighth grade."</p><p>"Yeah!" said Penn, looking pleased with himself.</p><p>Ed bent down over his computer. "Girls don't like me," he mumbled. "Leave me alone."</p><p>Buggy frowned. Ed was prone to sudden mood swings, and it wasn't exactly subtle when his mood was going downhill. He bent down next to his friend's seat, lowering his voice.</p><p>"Hey, girls didn't like you in <em>high school.</em> We're in college. Things are different now. Look, could I get a date back in Lawndale?" Ed finally turned, giving Buggy a careful look. "If I can do it, you can too. It's not like I'm <em>that</em> much hotter than you."</p><p>Ed tapped his fingers nervously. "Okay, but...how?"</p><p>Buggy grinned, clapping him on the shoulder. "Just be confident!"</p><p>"That's it?"</p><p>"Sure! Just try talking to someone. That girl you like from work, maybe." He ignored Ed's blush and gave him an appraising look. "And maybe change your shirt, while we're at it."</p><p>Ed frowned, touching the faded picture on his chest. "What's wrong with my shirt?"</p><p>"Well...you've had it since eighth grade. It's kinda ratty. Plus it's got a cartoon character on it."</p><p>Ed looked sheepish. "This is my lucky shirt," he mumbled. "It <em>gives</em> me confidence."</p>
<hr/><p>At work that day, Amy's mother called to tell her that Rita was getting married.</p><p>"Again?" Amy said. It was the best snark that she could manage as she tried to get her computer to work.</p><p>Her mother <em>tsk</em>ed. "She and Gordon divorced twenty years ago, Amy. You should be happy that your sister has finally found someone stable to settle down with. Even Helen likes him."</p><p>"Oh, I'm ecstatic, Mom, believe me," Amy said in a colorless voice.</p><p>A little sigh came through the phone, then her mother asked "And how have you been?"</p><p>"Alright, for the most part," she said, clipping her mouse in an increasingly vigorous fashion. "Though I might get fired in a moment for throwing this broken computer out the window."</p><p>"Other than that," she said, in a tone dry enough to match her daughter's. "Any new men in your life?"</p><p>Now it was Amy's turn to sigh, though it came out close to a growl. "Depends if I can seduce Ian away from Rita."</p><p>"I'm being serious, Amy. I don't want to nag—"</p><p>"But you're just so good at it."</p><p>"—but you're already past forty! I know you love your independence, but don't you ever think about settling down? Maybe starting a family before it's too late? After all, you'll need something to occupy your time after you defenestrate that computer."</p><p>For about five seconds Amy just stared at the frozen computer screen.</p><p>"Sorry, Mom, I gotta go. The IT guy is here."</p><p>She hung up, put her head in her hands and took several deep breaths. Then she picked up the phone to call an IT guy.</p><p>"Excuse me, Ms. Barksdale?"</p><p>She looked up. It was that one intern with the thick glasses and the faded T-shirt—Ed or something. She smiled wanly as he put a coffee cup down on the desk, then skittered out of the room.</p><p>"Yeah, hi. I need someone to fix my computer. I don't know, it's not doing anything right—"</p><p>The intern had paused in the doorway, momentarily thinking that she was talking to him. Even as he noticed the phone in her hand he blurted, "I could fix it for you."</p><p>She looked up. Ed-or-something immediately turned red. Amy noticed that he turned red around her a lot—the poor kid wasn't exactly hard to read.</p><p>"You know computers?"</p><p>"Uh—yeah. I'm majoring in Computer Science at the University. I actually took this job to be a tech writer, but, y'know—still haven't worked my way...up yet..."</p><p>Amy paused, then spoke into the phone again. "You know what? Let me try something, I'll call back if it doesn't work." She hung up, stood, then motioned to her desk chair. "Well, here's your chance to earn a promotion."</p><p>"Really?!" his said, voice squeaking even as he walked around her desk.</p><p>"No, I don't have the power to promote you. Most I can do is put in a good word with Carrie. Now, I was just trying to…"</p><p>She leaned over Ed's shoulder to point at the monitor. Ed blushed again, but this time a smile spread out over his face.</p><p>As previously mentioned, Ed was prone to strange moods. When he was depressed, he got really depressed. But when he got happy he could get downright manic.</p><p>The look on Ms. Barksdale's face when he fixed her computer in five minutes definitely made him <em>very</em> happy.</p><p>"<em>Thank you,</em> Ed. It would have taken another hour just for IT to get somebody here."</p><p>He stood from her chair, feeling like a celebrity climbing out of his limo for a movie premiere. "No problem. Is there anything else I could help you with?"</p><p>She smirked, sliding into the chair <em>that he'd just sat in</em> and getting to work again. "No, that should be it. Unless you also happen to be a mechanic."</p><p>Ed had to stop himself from exclaiming that yes, he <em>was</em> an expert mechanic, which would have been a blatant lie. "What do you need a mechanic for?"</p><p>"Sorry, that was more to myself than you. My car's been in the shop and it's been a hassle calling a cab to and from work every day."</p><p>"I could drive you home!" Ed cried before even stopping to think about the matter.</p><p>She looked up, her expression surprised but, to his amazement, not put-out. "You sure? You don't even know where I live."</p><p>"Oh. Right. Um...?"</p><p>"Monroe Street."</p><p>"Oh!" He giggled. "I live at the university, so that actually <em>is</em> on my way!"</p><p>She smiled. Ms. Barksdale had a great smile. It was like, sly and playful.</p><p>"Well, I get off at 8. You sure it won't be too much trouble?"</p><p>"No trouble at all!" Ed got off at 6:30, but at the moment that didn't really phase him.</p>
<hr/><p>"Thanks again for doing this," Amy said as they drove away through the night.</p><p>"No problem, Ms. Barksdale."</p><p>"Please. 'Ms. Barksdale' is my...mother or sister or something. Call me Amy."</p><p>She didn't really register the way Ed swallowed and licked his lips nervously. "Alright. Amy. I'm Ed."</p><p>"I know, kid." She yawned, kicking off her shoes and settling into her seat, eyes drifting out the window. "Ah, I'm ready for the weekend. As long as none of the 'Ms. Barksdales' call."</p><p>"Um—what do you mean?"</p><p>"Nothing. Just—family drama."</p><p>Ed looked at her briefly, then back on the road. "Uh—I could listen, if you want?"</p><p>Amy gave him an appraising look. She was a pretty private person by nature, so all of her common sense was telling her not to spill her guts to a virtual stranger—especially one barely out of high school. And yet…</p><p>"My sister is getting married."</p><p>"Is that a bad thing?"</p><p>"<em>No,</em> but...yes. She's on marriage number two when I'm still working on number one. My other sister's been <em>mostly</em> happily hitched since I was your age. They're both older than me, and obviously <em>no</em> marriage is better than a failed one, but…" She glanced outside. "I haven't even had a date in over a year. I love my job and my privacy, but sometimes I really <em>do</em> regret not making my personal life a priority. And now I'm an old maid."</p><p>She laced her tone with sarcastic despair, hoping to cover the <em>real</em> despair that was building inside of her.</p><p>Ed looked incredulous. "You're not <em>old!</em> I mean—you're probably what? Thirty…" He wanted to say <em>five,</em> but decided not to risk it. "Four?"</p><p>Amy laughed, so loudly that Ed jumped. It was very different from her usual chortle.</p><p>"Sure, Ed. Let's go with that." She pointed out the window. "Here we are."</p><p>Ed pulled into the parking lot of an apartment complex. Amy got out of the car.</p><p>"Do you want me to pick you up Monday morning?"</p><p>"No, my car will probably be fixed by then, but thank you so much. You're a real lifesaver. And a good listener."</p><p>Ed grinned. Amy thought that he looked kind of cute when he smiled. Still very young...but cute.</p><p>She hesitated.</p><p>"I suppose a wild college student like you probably has plans for Friday night, but—you could come up for a quick cup of coffee, if you want."</p><p>It took a second for Ed's brain to process that.</p><p>"No! I mean—yes. I mean I don't have plans, and I would love some coffee."</p><p>"Great."</p><p>He climbed out of the car. As she turned Ed gave a quick tug on his lucky shirt, then smoothed it out as he followed her into the building.</p>
<hr/><p>A few hours later Ed Parker woke up naked in Amy Barksdale's bed. He found himself equally surprised, delighted and terrified by that fact.</p><p>He watched her sleep for a long moment, letting those emotions war inside him, then rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling. His whole body felt jittery. The high from last night was still there, but it was ebbing; he fought to hold on, letting it curl his lips up into a grin. He'd actually done it, he—the woman he liked, the much older, <em>cooler</em> woman that he was attracted to thought that he was attractive too. She was sleeping <em>right next to him</em> because they had had <em>sex last night</em>. He was no longer a virgin, and he had really enjoyed it and <em>hopefully</em> she had enjoyed it too but <em>what if she hadn't</em> or what if—</p><p>He took a deep breath. Don't blow this now, Ed. Remember: <em>confidence.</em></p><p>His stomach ached. He remembered that he had come here right after work, meaning that he hadn't had any dinner last night. He slipped out from under the covers and grabbed his glasses from the nightstand. For a moment he dared to believe that he could walk around her apartment wearing nothing else and that it would make him look totally badass and sexy. Instead he pulled on his underwear, and after a moment of thought, his shirt. Just having it on helped calm the growing panic.</p>
<hr/><p>Amy woke up, and her first coherent thought was "Oh, damn it."</p><p>Ed was gone, though his jeans and shoes were still on the floor, so she figured he couldn't have gotten far. She wasn't sure if she was happy about that or not.</p><p>She got up and had put on some semblance of respectable clothes when he pushed the door open with his foot, carrying a plate in each hand. He nearly dropped them when he noticed her up.</p><p>"Amy! Good morning. I made us breakfast," he said, indicating the plates. His smile faltered. "That's something people do, right? Make their lovers breakfast?"</p><p>Amy gave a loud snort—there was something very silly about hearing Ed say the word "lovers" in his high, nervous voice. Combined with his height and the cartoon character on his shirt, it gave the impression of a fourteen-year-old trying desperately to be cool.</p><p><em>That</em> thought caused an internal wince. Amy reminded herself that he was in college. Yes, that put him around the same age as her younger nieces, and yes...that made him <em>maybe</em> half her own age. But still. No use making herself feel like some kind of pedophile.</p><p>"Yes, Ed."</p><p>He chuckled nervously. "Good. It felt kind of weird, puttering around in somebody else's kitchen…"</p><p>He gave her a plate and sat down at the end of the bed. He tried to act casual, as though he had pantsless, post-coital breakfast parties with women all the time, but the result was that he looked even more awkward. "Sorry about the toast," he added, as Amy quirked an eyebrow at a very black piece of bread on her plate.</p><p>"My toaster doesn't even turn on. How did you—?"</p><p>"I used the oven. That was…" He cleared his throat. "Anyway. I just thought it would be nice to, uh—do something this morning. Since neither of us has work, but now it's suddenly occurred to me that maybe you have other plans like meeting someone else for breakfast and I shouldn't have done this and—"</p><p>"<em>Ed.</em> It's fine. Thanks."</p><p>He smiled awkwardly. The two began to eat, Ed bouncing his leg with nervous energy, Amy trying to think of something to say.</p><p>"About last night…"</p><p>"It was really—!"</p><p>"It really shouldn't have happened."</p><p>The words died in Ed's throat and his face suddenly went slack.</p><p>"...Oh."</p><p>Amy smiled wanly, or tried to, but it came out more like a grimace.</p><p>"Don't get me wrong, Ed—you seem like a sweet kid. But I'm…'thirty-four,' and you're about half that."</p><p>"I'm nineteen!"</p><p>Amy winced. "Look, last night was nice, but...we're in very different places in our lives, and under the best of circumstances things in the workplace get hopelessly muddled over…<em>this.</em>" She waved her hand to the bedroom, encompassing the two of them. "Besides," she said, trying to sound playful, "I'm sure a strapping young man like you has better prospects than an old fogey like me."</p><p>Ed stared for a long moment. His chin fell to his chest as he stood.</p><p>"I'll...get going then."</p><p>"I mean, you can finish your breakfast—" she began, but he had already grabbed his pants and shoes from the floor. He closed her bedroom door behind him, finished getting dressed in the hallway and left.</p>
<hr/><p>It was still very early when Ed arrived back at his dorm and fell into his bed. The depression was definitely set in now. He lay there for a while, trying not to think.</p><p>He was just starting to doze when the door opened. It was Buggy, smirking as he slinked in. Ed was pretty sure that he was wearing the same clothes from the night before.</p><p>"Ed? You awake?"</p><p>"No," he said miserably. Then, "Spent the night at Shondra's?"</p><p>"Yeah." He had a besotted smile as he said this, but then shook his head and asked, "You weren't in when I left last night. Everything okay?"</p><p>Ed turned on his side, facing away from him. "Yeah, I...took a chance on that girl from work."</p><p>"Oh, cool! Any luck?"</p><p>Ed plucked at his shirt, staring down at the faded picture. "No. No luck," he said dully.</p></div></div></div>
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